Things that annoy me

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So many things annoy me: Lovey-dovey couples, gay or otherwise; North American women who talk in vocal fry tones; people who talk about themselves a lot; people who say, “I’m the kind of person who…”; people who weren’t actually in the TV series Friends but sound and act like they would like to be; people who get in my way when I’m in a hurry; people who get in my way when I’m not in a hurry; Japanese men who continuously snort their snot on trains rather than blow their noses; people who ride bikes on the pavement right behind me so that if I stop suddenly they ride straight into my achilles tendon; people who let their shopping bags stick out into the ‘passing lane’ on escalators; people who insist on being first off trains but then walk like snails once they are off; people who think they have opinions when in reality they have just absorbed whatever ideas happen to be fashionable at the time; people who pretend they knew something when they didn’t until you told them; people who read texts on their mobile phones while walking; people who talk loudly on mobile phones; people who talk loudly; people who say Barack Obama cares about people simply because he gives some people other people’s money; people who say things like, ‘I feel your pain’, ‘push the envelope’ and ‘think outside the box’; couples who stroke each other a lot in public.

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